Respirations and Resuscitations
by Seto's butterfly
Summary: It's been five years since the accident, and the Curtis brother's are doing all that they can to get along. Fostered by me, Original by Goldengreaser. Sequel to HYPOXIA by: GoldenGreaser
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I recently read the outsiders and got sucked into the world of greasers and socs (sosh's). I was reading some it that type of fanfiction when I came upon one author. Goldengreaser. Not only was her work FABULOUS It was touching and beautifully written. She didn't want to continue with her story "Respirations and Resuscitations" so here I am, fostering the story. Gee I hope I don't disappoint Goldengreaser, because that would just kill me.**

Darry looked in on his brother. Ponyboy was sleeping. It seemed he did that a lot lately. Apparently after a head injury fatigue was very common. The only problem was with Ponyboy it never seemed to stop. He slept more hours then he spent awake. It was not like he could help it but still…..

Darry stepped into the dimly lit room. Illuminated in the dim streetlight out the window his brother looked like any other nineteen year old guy, maybe better. Everyone said Sodapop was a real looker and he and Pony looked just alike. It was a shame really.

Before the accident, as Darry had come to refer to it, Ponyboy might have been a real ladies man. It seemed that girls liked all that sensitive jazz that Pony seemed into. That wasn't a possibility now. Ponyboy couldn't even tell you what a poem was anymore, much less write one. "It's such a shame," People would say, "Such a nice boy."

Dead but not dead,. An adult but not an adult; for the rest of his life Ponyboy would be stuck in the middle somewhere. As for Darry he was stuck with him. He could give Ponyboy over to the state, institutionalize him. It would be easier really, the state was already hounding him to do that.

But if he were really honest with himself, Darry would say that he could not live with that decision. Ponyboy was his brother, family. "You just don't forget blood." There dad would say. "Friends come and go son but your brothers will always be your brothers. Nothing can change that."

And Darry knew that even after all these years his father had been dead, the same was still true. Ponyboy was, and would always be, his baby brother. Maybe it was selfishness, maybe guilt for his role in the accident, but Darry couldn't let him go. He simply couldn't.

The days were hard. He worked and worked under the hot son while his brother was in an adult day program. Then at night he came home to a virtual toddler in a teenager's… no adult's body. It was difficult to say the least. Dressing Pony, bathing Pony, cleaning his shit up when he forgot to use the bathroom, feeding him. it was a full time job, one that left Darry more stressed then roofing ever did.

But in the end, Darry knew he couldn't blame his brother. If the accident had taught him anything it was to be more patient, more understanding. He had to learn to control his temper. He could not let every little thing bother him. Life would be even harder if he did. Besides he owed his brother…..

Ponyboy moaned slightly. Darry rushed to his side, pulling away from his thoughts. _"Not a seizure not a seizure, please…"_

Ponyboy opened his eyes and yawned. _"Groggy he's just groggy."_

Darry sat on the edge of the bed as his brother sat up. "Hey buddy, you ready to get up. I have breakfast ready to fix."

Ponyboy simply smiled at him and Darry had his answer. He walked over to the lamp and pulled the cord. The room brightened as Darry got a look at the cloak. 6 : 30. They were running right on schedule.

"Okay buddy lets get you something to wear. Any ideas?"

"Blue."

"Blue jeans?" Darry asked hoping he had caught his brother's meaning well enough.

Ponyboy nodded. "Blue."

"Okay, what else? What else are you supposed to wear?"

Ponyboy didn't answer. He swung his legs back and fourth. He had very little concentration, or at least in the mornings. Sometimes it got better when the day progressed, if Darry was lucky.

"Do you wear a shirt Ponyboy? Do you wear a shirt with blue jeans?"

"PONYBOY." Ponyboy's head shot up. He nodded.

"Good job kiddo." Darry walked over to the bureau and pulled out some of Soda's old blue jeans, a faded white undershirt and a red flannel. "You ready?"

Ponyboy nodded. He held out his arms overtop his head and Darry pulled off his old undershirt placing the new one all. He got on his knees and helped Ponyboy into his pants pulling them up to his waist. He tickled him on the stomach. Ponyboy laughed and fell over backwards. Darry reached over and tickled him some more.

The smile that filled his brother's face curved Darry's sour mood. It reminded him of something very important. His brother was alive. His brother was aware enough that he could be happy; he could live a good life. Maybe it was not the life any of them wanted for Ponyboy. Maybe it wasn't the life he wouldn't have had without the accident. But it was a life and it was living. Nothing ever made Darry more comfortable with his decision than this. Because Darry couldn't help but remember a time when they thought his brother was going to die, would never be able to have a life at all.

Ponyboy giggled and squirmed. Darry found himself smiling as his brother wiggled under his fingertips. Darry had always loved tickling his younger brother. He was as ticklish as the day he was born and the reaction had always been there. It made him feel better about the whole thing.

Darry laughed and relented. He helped Ponyboy up. "Come on kiddo. Lets get that mop of your cleaned up." He smoothed Pony's hair.

Pony grinned. "Messy."

"Yeha kid, it is." Ponyboy stood up and bounced on his heels.

"Darry come on." He pulled on Darry's wrist. Darry forced another smile and followed his brother to the bathroom. He picked up a comb and ran it through Ponyboy's hair, adding a little grease to keep it in place. _"He'll need a haircut soon_."

"There you go kid. Now what do you say to some chocolate cake?"

"I like cake. Its good."

"Yeha buddy it is." And so started another long day for Darrel Curtis.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Chapter two, thought I'd mention that Goldengreaser wrote chapters one through four and that I'll try to update this as soon as I finish updating "One stormy night." Which I might put a slight pause on. **

The girl giggled as she looped her arm around him. "Come on Sodapop, have some fun." She pretended to pout. "I might begin to think you don't like me."

He shook her off heading to the pump. "That'll be three-fifty miss."

She gave a huff and handed him the change. "You're no fun." She hopped into her car and drove off. Steve Randle wiped his hands on an old blue rag and laughed.

"Geeze Soda that has to be about the third girl you pushed off this week. I'm beginning to think you're a pod person or something."

Soda shrugged. "I'm not in a very good mood is all."

Steve laughed again. "Suit yourself but if I had as many girls ask me out as you do I'd give old Hue Heffner a run for his money."

Sodapop shook his head. "If you like bunny rabbits."

"You know I do."

"I'll be sure to tell Evie." Soda picked up a windshield wiper and the phone rang. Steve watched as his friend ran to get it.

"Sure hope not!" Steve yelled after him shaking his head. _"What's his problem?'_

"Hello DX station Sodapop Curtis.."

"Hey Soda, this is Darry I picked up an extra shift tonight at the warehouse. Can you watch Pony for me tonight?"

Sodapop sighed. He didn't really want to… "Yeha, sure."

"Thanks buddy, be there by five."

"You got it."

'There's some stuff for chicken in the icebox. Just don't go crazy. Ponyboy likes his food…"

"I know not too hot, not too sweet. ."

"Thanks again."

"Yeha, whatever."

"See you later Pepsi."

"See ya Dar."

Sodapop hung up the phone.

"Who was it?"

"Darry, I got babysitting duty tonight."

Steve shook his head. "it aint that bad."

Soda just glared.

**Sodapop's Point of View.**

As soon as I walked in the door Ponyboy ran from the couch over to me. "Soda!"

"Umph." We collided hard. 'Easy kid, I aint going nowhere." Ponyboy simply smiled at me.

Darry came out of the hall slipping on a work shirt. "He hasn't seen you in almost a month Soda. You can't really blame him."

I simply shrugged and pulled Ponyboy off me. He stayed right at my side like a little puppy. Darry just shook his head and walked over. He grabbed Ponyboy gently by the arm. "Come on buddy. Go sit down. I'll turn on some TV."

Ponyboy seemed to think about this a minute. "Mickey?"

"No buddy but I think some football might be on."

'Okay." He sat down and Darry turned on the TV. He turned back to me. "He had an okay day but he'll probably need a nap soon. You know how he gets. Go ahead and let him have one while you make dinner. _Bewitched_ comes on tonight at eight. He seems to like that. If not there's Legos."

I flash a smile. "I know Darry. I know." Man am I good at pretending to be happy.

'All right then. Bye Pony."

Ponyboy looked up. "No."

"I have to go."

Ponyboy folded his arms and pouted. "NO!"

"Soda's here. You'll have fun with him."

"NO!"

"Pony.."" Ponyboy leapt up and grabbed Darry by the middle. There was a time when he might have been glad to be free of Darry. There was a time when they did nothing but fight. Now he hates being away from him.

"Come on Ponyboy. I really need to go."

I sighed and grabbed Ponyboy by the shoulder. "Come on kiddo. Let's go to your room. I know you're tired. I'll stay with you until you're asleep."

Ponyboy digested this. "kay."

Think heaven for small victories. Darry sighed in relief and walked out the door. I steered Ponyboy toward what used to be our room.

He was out like a light in less than five minutes. I can remember a time when we'd lie for hours and talk and talk. He'd tell me all the things that were bothering him, his hopes, and his dreams. Sometimes we'd talk about nothing at all. I sucked in my cheeks and sighed. I miss having long conversations with my little brother He was smart. Heck he could say some stuff and I'd have no idea what he was saying. He had a huge vocabulary. Now he makes me look like a freaking genius. He was so smart…..

I miss a lot of things about that. I miss the talking the most because; well that was a big part of my relationship with him. It made me feel needed when Pony would go to me. Even when we were kids Pony usually talked to me before our parents. I liked being the go to guy. And sometimes, he would listen to me too.

We rarely fought back then. I mean it too. I just always liked being around him. I never got annoyed or anything. But now it's really hard for me to be patient with him. It's tough being around him but if Darry needs me to I come. If it wasn't for him I might never come around.

Sometimes I even think that Pony might have been better off dead that I'd be better off. I've even thought of ways to do it. It wouldn't be painful, just something quick. I'd come over one night share the bed. I'd plug up his nose, put a hand over his mouth. Maybe I'd give him too much of his medicine. I'll sit there and think of ways upon ways to do it. Then in a flash I'll remember that dream I had.

_The room was dark and silent. I shivered and rubbed my arms. It was freezing too. I could see white smoke from my breath. What was this place? "Hello!" I called. "Is anybody there?"_

_And then I heard it. It was soft, barley louder than a pin drop. Someone was crying._

"_Hello. Hello. Who's there?" I walked towards the crying. It got gradually louder and louder. And then._

"_Umph." I bumped into someone. The crying stopped and the darkness grew a little lighter. "Sorry I…"_

_The crying person turned around. His eyes were red rimmed with tears and he was wearing my old sweater. I gulped. "Pony?" I reached for him. My hand fell right through._

"_Pony?"_

_He turned around. His face was deathly pale and bluish but he wasn't so thin looking. His eyes were wide. He reached out to touch me. His hand was so cold and it went straight through. He sighed._

"_I wanna go home Soda. I wanna go home."_

_He was crying and my heart was breaking. "I can't get out of here. I've tried."_

_I wanted to hold him. "I miss you Pony."_

_He shivered. "Soda, I hear mama."_

_My face grew wide. 'What's she saying Pony?"_

_He sniffled and just stared at me, just stared. "She's calling Soda like when we was little and playing outside. Remember it'd get dark and she'd call?"_

_I nodded. "She wants me to go to her."_

"_Pony….."_

Something in me changes then. I remember that in some ways he is still my brother. I can't possibly live without him. He's like a drug, he addicting. I need to be able to touch him, hear the sound of his voice, no matter how different the words coming out of it are.

I feel so guilty afterwards. Sighing I ran my hand through his hair. "I'm sorry I'm not always here. I love you kiddo. It's just hard sometimes. We used to share this bed you know. We were best friends.." I sighed once more. "I love you kiddo."

Ponyboy yawned and turned over but he didn't wake. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I miss my brother. Darry's a lot better than this than I am. Moat days I can hardly stand to be around Ponyboy. I need him but I can't be with him. it hurts. I'm not proud of it but I'm just not strong enough to deal with that pain. Maybe someday, but not yet.

I pulled the covers over him. In the dim moonlight Ponyboy looked like any other nineteen year old. For a second, for a second I saw him as he once was. I saw a boy running gracefully, leaping over track hurdles. I saw him catching a football, reading a thick book. I heard a smarteleck remark rolling easily off his thirteen year old tongue. I saw a kid with his whole future ahead of him

I don't know why but I can't stop living in the past and it kills me.

I yawned and looked at the clock on the wall. Darry should be home any minute. I glanced toward the kitchen. Dinner wasn't burning as far as I could tell. I was under strict orders from Darry not to mess with it and I did not want to make him mad.

I looked down at the floor. Ponyboy was playing with the Lego set he has had since he was five years old, like a little kid. Darry said something once about it being good for his concentration and motor skills. I wasn't so sure. It didn't seem to make a difference to me. The kid could put a few Legos together but he couldn't even dress himself in the morning, what kind of help is that?

"Watcha building Pony?" I tried to sound enthusiastic for his sake.

He placed two Legos together and was quiet for a moment. Finally he spoke. "City"

"Oh," I bit my lip. "It's a nice city Pony." One step at a time. One step at a time. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to except him the way he is but for now all I can do is love him and remember him as he was. Until I can do that I just have to deal. And that will be hard. But I can do this, I have to do it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Chapter THREEE wow I sound excited. I didn't even write it. I thought that it was self explanatory but I'd just like to add a disclaimer. NEVER OWNED THE OUTSIDERS**

**Disclaimer- I do not own**_**The Outsiders**_

Mom walked into the kitchen and yawned. Dan walked in beside her. "Morning Johnny. How is it going?" I pulled up to the kitchen table.

"I'm doing good." He grinned and kissed mom's cheek. "Well good. I see you made breakfast. Eggs and bacon, my favorite." I smiled.

I really liked Dan. He was good for mom. He never yelled at or hit her. He treated her real good and he never got cross with me. I was glad she had married him.

"Johnny!" The other major reason I was thankful for Dan came running in.

"Hey Becky." I backed up and she jumped into my lap.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"Mommy and Daddy are taking me to the zoo."

I smiled. "That sounds fun." She nodded profusely.

"Are you coming?"

Mom sat down smoothing out her dress. She didn't look so tired these days. I never knew she could be pretty until dad was finally out of the picture. When she was happy mom did more with herself. She was happy more and more these days.

"I'm sure Johnny wants to spend his day with his friends." Friends, she called them friends, not hoods.

Becky pouted. "Awe…."

I messed up her hair. "How about I take you to the tasty freeze tomorrow. We'll go see a movie, just the two of us."

Becky started to smile. "Okay." She hoped off my lap and Dan sat her in her highchair.

"I swear Johnny you're a saint with kids." I blushed a little and shrugged. Becky was an awful special kid. I was pretty sure it was hard not to be nice to her.

Becky was my half sister. Dan and Mom met at an AA meeting less than a year after my "accident". Dan had been drinking since he was a kid. He wasn't a bad guy. Well he didn't have Dad's temper. He was more like two-Bit. I mean who else would pick up a girl at an AA meeting?

He and mom hit it off real well. They were real good for each other, kept each other sober. They started dating and Dan started coming around. They married pretty quickly in the courthouse. Less than nine months later Becky came along. I'm not as dumb as people think I am. I understand why they got married but I'm okay with it. I never even dreamed I would have a family, a real family. Sometimes I wonder if being confined to this wheelchair was the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't see mom coming around like she did any other way.

"Whatcha thinkin?"

I looked up. Becky was looking at me. I smiled embarrassed. Dan laughed his mouth full of Bacon. "merpeugh you favor." He gulped. "How pretty you are."

Mom shook her head but I could tell she was happy.

Dallas pulled over to the side of the road. I looked out my window. I sighed in relief. With Dallas you never really know where you can end up. Dallas has to be about the toughest guy I know and I really admire him but sometimes I question the choices he makes. Luckily today he pulled up to the bowling alley. I was glad. You never know when he's aiming for trouble.

"Two-Bit and Steve are meeting us here. I figured we'd kick some ass in the lanes then hit the arcade. Kill some time before the rodeo today at four." I shook my head smiling. So there was an angle. I knew Dallas would be entering. There was no doubt in my mind.

Dallas opened my door and I flopped into my chair. We walked in the bowling ally and the guys were already there. "Speak of the devil. We were just talking about you all." Two- Bit took the tooth pick out of his mouth.

Dallas laughed. "Talking about getting your butts wiped."

"Not a chance."

"You're on." It looked like this was going to be a good day after all. I only hoped Mom, Dan and Becky were having as much fun as I would.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Chapter four**

**Disclaimer- I do not own**_**the Outsiders**_

The light came in from the window and landed on his face. The warm sunlight caused his eyes to scrunch up and awoke him from his sleep. He groaned and squinted his eyes. Ponyboy did not want to wake up, not yet. He rolled back over but sleep would not find him. Frustrated tears started to flow. He wanted to sleep, he just wanted to sleep.

He sniffled and turned over once more. He wined and looked over at his bedside table. There was a picture on it. He sniffled and tried to dry his tears. He liked the picture. The man and woman were always smiling right at him. He rubbed his eyes.

Darry said that the man and woman were their mom and dad. He didn't remember them. Darry said they were in a place called Heaven and they couldn't come back. Ponyboy didn't quite understand this but he knew they loved him still. Darry said so.

Darry walked into his brother's room but did not turn on the light. It was Saturday and he would not have to work until that evening. He yawned and stretched. He looked at his watch, 9 AM, four hours more sleep then weekdays afforded him. He also enjoyed these days.

He sat on the bed and put a hand on Ponyboy's shoulder. Ponyboy sat up. He didn't smile but he did not pout either. "Hey buddy. Good morning."

Ponyboy patted Darry's hand. "Hi." He said simply.

"Pony no center today just me and you."

"You stay with me?"

Darry smiled. "That's right buddy. No work, no center. Just me and you."

Ponyboy smiled warmly. "I'm up."

Darry ruffled his hair. "Okay kiddo. Let's get some breakfast and get you cleaned up. Would you like to go see some horses with me today?"

Ponyboy made no reply, just smiled brightly. The only thing he had gotten was that he was going to be spending the day with Darry. Saturday, though he did not call it this, was here. Ponyboy Curtis liked Saturdays or rather he liked the idea of them.

He could not tell one day of the week apart from the next but Saturdays were a little different. He knew the day simply by the fact that he did not have to go to the center. From morning until dark he was with Darry. This made Saturdays, the idea of them, very special to him. He did not know when to expect these days but when they began he was far more agreeable then on most.

Darry ruffled his hair. "Okay kiddo. Let's get some breakfast and get you cleaned up. Would you like to go see some horses with me today?"

Ponyboy made no reply, just smiled brightly. The only thing he had gotten was that he was going to be spending the day with Darry. Saturday, though he did not call it this, was here.

Breakfast for the Curtis brothers had become a simple enough affair. Darry usually had been reduced to giving his brothers dry cereal to munch on, sometimes cake. Saturdays were a little more complex. Darry had time to make sure his brother was better fed, eggs and bacon, biscuits too. He did have time week days to clean up the ensuing mess but Saturdays both boys could enjoy the meal.

Ponyboy wore a huge grin when Darry placed the food in front of him, pancakes added. He wouldn't eat half of it, Darry knew. Something weird with the part of his brain that controlled appetite, but he would love what he did eat. Besides if Ponyboy got to eat the good stuff he would too. Cooking for one was just not an option so weekdays he skimped out on breakfast as well. Ponyboy's happiness was his own.

Ponyboy grabbed a piece of bacon and took a huge bite. He tore into his eggs making a mess. "Good little buddy?" Darry laughed.

Pony dropped his spoon. "Yum."

Darry smiled warmly any moment of joy in their household was a thing of beauty. But all too soon Ponyboy had put his fork down.

"Kiddo?"

Ponyboy frowned and hugged his stomach. Darry closed his eyes. "Done eating?" his brother nodded. "Okay, okay. Come on let's get you cleaned up."

"'No bath."

"Yes bath."

Ponyboy frowned once more and crossed his arms. Darry tried to give him a smile. A smile did far more to encourage his brother than anything else.

"No."

Darry sighed. He hated this. Standing up he walked over to Ponyboy's chair. He put a hand on either shoulder. "Please kiddo. You get a bath and we can go out." Rolling his eyes at his brother's inaction Darry moved his hands from Ponyboy's shoulder to under his arms and hauled his brother up by the armpits.

Ponyboy tried to set himself back down but Darry kept a steady hand. "Okay kid,"

"Bath."

"That's more like it. Now come on."

X X X X

Washing his younger brother felt… felt undignified, almost degrading. Perhaps that was the reason Darry had always chosen to add bubbles, enough to hide parts that if Ponyboy was wholey himself, he would want covered.

Ponyboy always seemed relaxed in the warm water. Though he fought against the bath, as he did most times; now he seemed to enjoy it. He smiled as Darry rubbed his fingers, foaming the shampoo through his hair.

"Your hair is getting really shaggy kiddo." There was no reply. Sighing, Darry moved on. He took a soft wash cloth and began to cleanse his brother's body. Softly, gently, he brought the rag across the skin.

"There kiddo. No let's get you dressed and we can go out."

Ponyboy smiled. "With Darry!"

"Yeha kid," Darry gave a weary grin in return. "You and me.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Chapter five. *crosses fingers* eep I'm so scared! . SO SCARED! Wish me luck!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own**_**the Outsiders**_

Ponyboy always enjoyed alone time with Darry. He didn't quite understand what was going on most of the times, but if Darry was with him then it was a good day.

Today, they were going to go look at some horses. According to the center, this would help his motor skills. Not that they needed much help anyway. Ponyboy was as healthy as a child of his age should be. Darry could only wish it extended two ways.

"What do we do when we get inside a car?" Darry pointed at the open car door.

Ponyboy paused for a moment, contemplating this question, sifting through the limited knowledge that he had, "seat… belt?" His green eyes were wide and innocent. A startling contrast to what they used to be. Darry smiled warmly and buckled Ponyboy in.

STEVE POV:

Most of us had gotten used to what had happened to Ponyboy… maybe not used to but we were glad that he was alive. Soda on the other hand, he wasn't as accepting as the rest of us. I could tell that there was a large part of him that disliked Ponyboy the way that he is, and we all could tell that he sure as hell missed the old Ponyboy. The one that would backtalk when you said something to him. Not the one that sat and contemplated everything. Sodapop wanted the Ponyboy that would trail him around, laugh and wrestle with him. NOT the Ponyboy that was always with Darry and didn't want to horse around like they did before. I leaned back and watched Sodapop work on a soc's mustang. It was a pretty tuff car. There were worry lines that were etched on his forhead. He didn't look like the Sodapop that he used to be. The laugh lines were almost gone, replaced with an almost permanent scowl.

"Steve, pass me the wrench will you?" Soda looked up, taking the wrench away from my hands, and somewhere in the back of my head I knew that he loved Ponyboy, THIS Ponyboy … maybe he didn't realize it yet.

DARRY POV:

"I like this horse, he is nice." It got odder and odder, listening to him talk, in the past years his voice and gone low and baritone but the words were so childish… so innocent. The two did not match at all.

"Yeha bud, his name Is bullet." I took Ponyboy's hand and together we stroked the Horse's mane, relishing the soft silkyness of the hair.

" I like bullet. He is nice." Pony repeated and I sighed. This was usually how most of our conversations would go, Pony would repeat the same statements over and over again not knowing what else to say.

"Yeha Ponyboy now can you get on the horse?" Kevin, the physical therapist walked up to us. Ponyboy had retained most of his physical functions but he still had some balance issues. I remember the doctor had related it back to the loss of major brain functions due to the Hypoxia. Hypoxia, it was a big word. No one ever realizes how much weight words have unless those very words have the power to make or break your life. In this case, it broke ours but also brought me and Ponyboy together in a way that we never were before and I was immensely glad for this, but was it worth having a half functional brother?

SODA POV:

"Hey Soda. It's for you." Steve handed me the phone.

"Sodapop Curtis." I leaned against the wall, I had a pretty good idea who this was.

"Hey it's me, Darry. Can you watch Pony for a little while?" Darry's voice was urgent. I don't think he knows that I honestly cannot stand "babysitting" Ponyboy. It hurts. So so bad. Watching the empty shell of my brother move around like a baby.

"Yeha sure." Like I would tell him that. Darry would skin me, and off I went home.

"Sodapop!" Pony rammed into me, pushing the air right out of my lungs.

"Easy boy." Slowly Ponyboy let go of me, a wide smile on his face, watching Darry go.

The routine was the same. I'd give him something trivial to do, like play with blocks or write something, which he was able to do quite well now.

"Soda play with me?" Pony tilted his head holding out a pen and a piece of paper.

"No." And with that I went to the kitchen, leaving a devastated Ponyboy in my wake. A part of me almost kicked myself for the downright mean behavior I was displaying, but the other part… the stronger part left me alone. I wrenched open the fridge almost pulling it off of it's hinges, angrily pouring chocolate milk into a glass.

"Soda?" Godammit, won't the boy leave me alone? Doesn't he understand that It hurts everytime I look at him. It burns. In a way that he won't ever understand. Doesn't he realize that sometimes I think that it's better for him to be dead then be this way? Doesn't he know that I don't love him? No, that's a lie. I couldn't ever not love Ponyboy. He was more than my brother, he was my best friend, "Yes?" The words came out quieter than expected.

"Soda doesn't love me?" What? Where'd he get that idea from? I love him so much!

"Uh… I love you, why wouldn't I?"

"Oh. Okay." And with that he left. Crazy kid. I never understood him, but still I followed him to our room… his room. No longer did I sleep next to him. I just couldn't. And there Ponyboy was, fast asleep, curled into a ball on the center of the bed. Grasping for something, anything. Once again the thought crept into my mind, a silent assassin.

"No." I convinced myself out loud. The dream rushed back to my head. I could never do that to ANYONE nevertheless my own flesh and blood. But still, the thought would always be in my mind, nagging me, poking at my awareness. I sighed deeply before going to the porch for a smoke. This was going to be a long night.

**A/N: Not to proud of this chapter… it's just a filler. Well… I like reviews. And the response I got to fostering this story was honestly really great so I thought that I should thank you awesome peoples for that! Review! Well… see ya! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note: Hehehe time to continue on goldengreasers story! Sorry for taking so long. I had an outsiders project (oh the irony) and I did it on dally (I LOVE YOU MATT DILLON!) So here's the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever in a million years, own the outsiders.**

Ponyboy:

Usually I do not know what is happening. Everything is so fast, so quickly. I know Darry. I like Darry, Darry is nice. Soda is also nice but Soda does not love me. Soda does not talk to me like Darry talks to me. Waking up is not fun, the colors are everywhere. They are very… big. Funny looking. They are mean. I do not like them like I like cake. Cake is nice. The room is Dark…. The dark is scary. I want Mom and Dad even though I know that they are in heaven and it is nice in heaven. Why can't they come back?

Darry:

"Darry! Darry? DARRY?" With a groan I pull myself off the bed, almost yelling at Pony to shut up when it all comes back to me.

"Pony?" I scramble towards his room, tripping over a few things on the way. Soda doesn't sleep with Ponyboy anymore. I imagine it hurts too much. Hurts me too. Maybe even a hell of a lot more, knowing that it was MY fault. And there he is, Ponyboy's sitting quietly on the edge of the bed with the blankets wrapped around him like he's being swaddled. 

"Yeah bud?" I wipe the crap out of my eyes, trying to see better.

"I don't like the colors." What? Half the time I didn't get a tiny rat's ass of what Ponyboy meant but the very fact that he was talking to me was a blessing.

"Neither do I bud. Neither do I." He got up and walked over to me, enveloping me into a hug, it was something that Ponyboy enjoyed. He was never one for physical expressions of affection but now he just loved hugs.

Soda POV:

"DARRY?" Ugh, he was awake again! A part of me almost wished that he would just wake up and be himself again. The Ponyboy that I could tell anything to even if he wasn't listening half the time, the Ponyboy that could crack a joke. It was a vicious cycle. I almost felt stupid, repeating the same thing in my head everyday. I want Ponyboy back. It seemed that no matter how many stars I wished upon he always woke up half a shell of what he used to be. Dead and broken.

"It's fucking six thirty in the morning and I don't even have work. What the hell is this racket all about?" I hadn't meant for the words to come out louder than a soft yell but somehow Darry had heard me.

"Watch it Sodapop Patrick! Pony doesn't need to hear that kind of filth! I ought to wash your mouth out with soap Just like Ma used to." Just like Ma _used_ to. Just like Pony _used_ to use worse language than me on a daily basis.

"Yeah? Well Pony used to say stuff that would make Two-Bit blush. What about that? Don't you be tellin' me what to say and what not to say, he's heard it all." Felt good to talk back to Darry like that. Maybe this was how Pony felt, talking back to Darry. I'd never thought of it before. Always listening to him on what to do, and how to be. A pawn, that's all I was. In a strange way the hypo- whatever the doctor said, opened my eyes. Everything became clearer. I was Sodapop Patrick Curtis and I could live my life the way I wanted to, not in the shadow of a mentally retarded brother. _Mentally Retarded?_ I mentally shot myself for even thinking something like that. He's your brother Soda! It became like a sort of mantra. He's your brother Soda! Don't be mean. He's your brother Soda, one day he'll come back! He's your brother Soda, take care of him. Yeah right. False crap. That was all I was shoving on myself. There was no hope. He would always be like this. Wasn't the doctor clear enough when he said, _"I'm sorry Mr. Curtis, but I'm afraid your brother's condition is permanent. There's less than a one percent chance that he will recover, hell let's be honest… it's never happened before and I honestly doubt that a boy – even one of his wonderful health – will defy all the laws of medical science. I'm sorry but therapy and encouragement Is all I can recommend. He won't lead a normal life but it would be better than a dead body, as I'm sure you all know." _

**A/N: AUTHORS BLOCK IS A KILLER! I'm really in need of ideas here! Help anyone? Plot twists are good though I bet you guys are sensing one right here… **


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: Hehehe time to continue on goldengreasers story! Sorry for taking so long. I finished my outsiders project and got a 100! Yeah! Dedication! Well anyway.. I did some research on hypoxia… and I hope that the story can now be a little more true to the world since I didn't want to have something completely cheesy to happen…. So yeah enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever in a million years, own the outsiders.**

Steve:

Something was different about Soda… he seemed more in control of himself than he had been in a long time. I wondered that maybe he'd finally learned to accept the injustice that was thrown at him, I mean it was completely unfair that he had to deal with this kind of shit. I could almost see the worry lines that had began to appear on Soda's face. He didn't need to go through this like I did. There seemed to be some kind of dark aura that he was letting out, it scared me something awful. People could go two ways, they could learn to deal with the shit that life throws or they could fall into the wrong influences. It was a well known fact for us all that Soda had now taken to smoking quite often since Pony's accident but this bloodshot redness in his eyes led me to think something else.

Soda swayed from side to side as he fixed up the last costumers car. Soda pulled out a joint from his pocket and quickly lit it, leaning heavily against the wall while smoking it. As the smell wafted towards me my heart stopped cold, like it did when I found out that Pony might never come out of his coma or whatever the hell that was. Marijuana.

"Sodapop Patrick Curtis you put that shit down this very instant." I snatched the joint away from him, crushing it violently under my shoes. The smell burned in the air.

"Hey Steve buddy, come on. I can't ever get out of this. At least when I'm flying it's all good." Soda feebly reached towards the joint.

"We're going home." I dragged the struggling Soda home.

Two-Bit:

"Soda, shut the hell up. We're going home." Hey, it was Stevie boy!

"Oy, Steve! What's goin on my friend?" He was hauling a struggling Sodapop down the road.

"I'll tell you what's goin on. This jackass is on pot. Don't know how much. But he's sure flying." Steve had a frown on his face, different than the one that he usually had. Soda, on _marijuana?_ But Soda was 'bout the cleanest kid you could find round these parts, other than Darry of course. But he didn't count.

"Man, you gotta be kiddin' Soda don't do that crap."

"Hey Two-Bit! What's cracking?" Soda laughed maniacly and I assumed that he was still flying.

"Give me a hand here will you? Might as well drag him over to Darry and try not to get our heads kicked in." Of course, Darry would skin us for not lookin' after Soda. I grabbed one of his arms and slung it across my shoulders, dragging him to the Curtis home. Darry was gonna be pissed…

Boy was I right, When Darry opened that door I thought he was gonna explode!

Darry:

Two-Bit and Steve knocked on the door, dragging a half conscious Sodapop in. The first thought that ran through my head was, "Not soda too."

"What's wrong with Soda?" I didn't even notice the threatening edge to my voice but apparently Two-Bit and Steve did, they cowered slightly against the wall.

"Um.. Darry, It wasn't our fault. We didn't know… I just found him against the building and he was smoking a joint, of pot… and he's been flying since we got here."

Crap. How many times had I reminded Soda and Pony that they should never ever get involved with drugs, those are mightly little suckers. They'd always listened before, especially Soda. He'd never bat an eyelash against me.

"Lay him down on the couch. I was just about to make dinner, want some boys?" they were looking nervously at Soda, who was now passed out on the couch.

"Uh.. yeah sure Darry, thanks." Even Two-Bit was now sober.

Soda:

Ugh where was I? I felt like I'd just been in a thousand rumbles, all of which I lost…

"Darry, Pony…" my head was pounding like I'd been slugged.

"Yeah buddy, we're here." Darry was here, I felt someone push me hair back. It felt nice, but I was too tired to figure out who did it. Everything hurt too much. Was this withdrawal? The guy warned me about it.. that guy.. who sold me those joints. Damn, I wanted a joint real bad right now.

"Soda … sick?" Pony?

"Yea Pony, Soda's sick." Darry ran his fingers through me hair. At once I felt real sorry. He had enough to worry about and he really did not need me making this any worse than it needed to be. With Pony's therapy costs and him working double shifts, we barely got by. Even with the foundation giving us constant donations.

"Darry, I'm sorry Darry. I didn't mean it, I just had to get away you know? It was all too much to take. I'm sorry Darry, I didn't mean to." The words tumbled out without my wanting them too. In a sense I'd been turning into Dallas. Not telling anyone how I felt, always being closed up. That did Dallas mighty good. Not.

**Authors Note: Not the best chapter but it's a filler. P.S goldengreaser, update the Dallas story! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! It's really really good! P.S everyone, watched St. Elmo's fire? Really really good movie, not kidding it's amazing. **


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